What’s VDay all about? Is it Valentine’s Day? Vulva day? or I just like V for obvious reasons? It can be all. It’s a day dedicated to myself and someone else. Then, there’s VDay as a woman, and I call it “Vulva Day”. It’s a day dedicated to me, myself, and I.
Let me make one thing clear: I’ve always hated Valentine’s Day. It’s not because I’m single or I hate love or don’t like roses or chocolate is far from being my favourite treat, but I think it’s no sense to command a day to celebrate the most unpredictable feeling: love.
So when it comes to VDay I celebrate it twice each month, but I never on February 14th.
Now, just to clarify, I don’t have anything against celebrating love. On the contrary, the fact that I find love to be so fundamental (not just love that we have for other people, but also the love that we have for ourselves) is why I celebrate it twice a month.
These days we’re always on the go—running through life as though we’re in a blender on its highest settings—and if we don’t keep up with this way of life, we feel lost or out of the loop. The result is that all too often, in order to keep up with the flow, we deprive ourselves of the most important moments with those we love without even realising it.
Funny enough, VDay was born a few years ago, exactly on February 14th, when a guy offered to buy me a single rose (a reason for which I would have kindly declined). Right before declining as I was feeling alone, unlucky, and terribly irritated he stated: ” love is for everybody”. A light bulb idea came to mind.
Who said that ‘love’ is only the kind of love shared by couples? What about self-love? Or the love that you have for your family or friends? These are all different types of love, but it’s love just the same.
And so, I bought myself a rose and bought a coffee for the guy. And I decided that from that moment on, I would always celebrate my very own VDay, but on my own terms—not how society tell us it should be celebrated.
I plan my VDays at the beginning of each month. Not because I’m crazy and suddenly liking to plan love on fix dates, but let’s be honest, in this messy lives we have, we need to plan things to make them happen.
Vulva Day is easier to plan, because I just need to plan it with myself. During Vulva Day, I do everything that I want to do for myself, and I never fail to find the time to pleasure myself, to find new ways of bringing myself to orgasm, or to try out new sex toys or ideas. Often, loving ourselves can be difficult, and I’m not only talking about physical love, either.
Putting our own needs first isn’t always the right or easiest or natural thing to do. In fact, all too often we need to come to terms with others. But there could be a day during which you come before all other things. For me, that day is Vulva Day.
Valentine’s Day is more dynamic. If I’m seeing someone, then we dedicate the day to ourselves. I don’t want gifts, roses, chocolates, expensive dinners, etc.—no! We can even spend the day on the couch watching Netflix, or in bed making love all day or just talking or even having a fight. If we want to do something special, then so be it, but it never has to be an obligation. Rain or shine, it’s our day—just for the two of us.
In the case that I don’t have any valentines—well, I have many friends or special people in my life with whom I can spend my special day! Actually, seeing as how I’ve been single for a good while now, many people wait for my WhatsApp message to arrange VDay at the beginning of each month. And they love it! Because it’s a special “appointment”, not just any other day with friends. It’s a date.
This is why I hate Valentine’s Day—because we need to dedicate more time to all different types of love.
And I’ve been happy ever since I’ve had my very own VDays. And hopefully the people who follow along in my (maybe) madness, are also happy. Loving ourselves makes us happier.
Happy VDay, everyone!