Say I Love You to Yourself This Valentines

Why is this one day in the calendar 14th February really representative of how much our partners love and appreciate us? It’s a day in the annual calendar that fills so many of us with dread. For others can be about expectation – the expectation of cards, flowers; and what about how we appreciate ourselves?


This is one of the basics of any good relationship, how we care for ourselves models to others how we should be treated. This also links to our sexuality, if we are not able to be connected with ourselves, show ourselves pleasure, treat ourselves and allow ourselves to let go and be in the moment; then how are our partners meant to learn how to give us those experiences too?

We live in a society where sex education is not prioritised and so most of us learn about what we like from self-exploration or experiences with partners. This happens on multiple levels of experience brain, mind, body and emotion all working in unison. For us to be truly turned on and lost in the moment, it takes participation from the different parts of us.

We have all had times when we feel more in tuned or connected to the sex we are having or other times when we struggle to get the stresses of the day out of our heads. So maximising our sexual self-care is about helping us to tune into our sexual selves and sexuality.


Appreciation comes in many forms and starts with us, so think about the things that feed you both emotionally and physically. It might be a bath, allowing the warm water to soothe achy muscles or wash away the stresses of the day, and lighting a candle with a scent that you love.

It could be turning off your phone for the evening and settling into bed with a good book, or even reading erotica and allowing your imagination to run away with itself. Or perhaps it is just about giving yourself permission to have ‘me time’ going to the cinema on your own, or booking yourself a massage or someone to come to your home to give you a beauty treat.

For others, it is a good glass of wine and relaxing on the sofa. It is important for us to have these moments, to allow ourselves to switch off from the world around us and switch on to you. When this comes to sexuality, we all have different wants and desires – you only have to read Nancy Friday’s My Secret Garden to see the range of fantasies that exist, and the beauty of fantasy is that your mind can produce the best content as it is tailored to you.

So why not indulge your fantasy? At pureeros we believe that your sexuality is a natural part of you and deserves to be expressed. Treat yourself, if you subscribe you can also get 10%off . Make sexual pleasure the gift from you to you everyday.

Pic1: Pmagazine – Pic2: Virgin&Martyr

(Psychosexual Therapist & Relationships Expert)

As a Psychosexual Therapist I offer an empathetic, safe, and professional environment within which clients and I can work together to facilitate the potential for change, and work towards sexual health, happiness and wellbeing. Even though sexual problems are very common, they are often difficult to talk about and cause distress and feelings of embarrassment or shame.

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