When I read the interview that Lindsay Geller did to Nicola Griffin, I could not resist writing to express my emotion. We are really changing. Nicola started working as a model at the age of fifty three and today she is fifty six. Without modesty she says that her favourite age is now.
The years go by and, while it is true that some things must change, the transition can be sensed in the air. Perhaps my generation does not incorporate these changes in a natural way, but I am sure that the next generations will have as a habit not to exclude over fifty women from the fashion industry, from an active life and from an enjoyable sexuality.
However, once we turned fifty, we do not recognise ourselves as sexual beings after having fully lived many experiences. For the younger generations, it is not considered as a right, but as a loss. There is a perception that interest in sex is lost and we know that this is not the case: studies report that one third of women over 70 are sexually active and so are more than half of men of the same age.
From the age of fifty it seems that it is socially accepted not to be desired and, if the opposite is demonstrated, it is considered as a milestone, as is the case of Nicola Griffin. However, I wish to remind you some facts related to the reasons why a woman of fifty years and older should, has and can fully enjoy her sexuality and her body:
- She knows what she wants, but the most important aspect is that she knows where she mustn’t return.
- She values her time because she doesn’t want to waste it in experiences that are not profitable.
- Sexuality is only intended for pleasure; reproduction is no longer a topic to be concerned about.
- Sex between an older woman and a younger man seems no longer taboo.
- She is no longer shy.
- She knows that sexual intercourse does not have to be phallocentric in the case of heterosexual women and all women appreciate and have plenty of experience in caressing, oral sex, foreplay and masturbation.
I hear you asking the question: “but when menopause arrives my body changes, I have less desire and sex is different”.
I spoke about menopause and sex in a recent article, and I won’t deny all these changes are reasonable, but the attitude is what makes the difference.
If we in the first place think that after that we are done as women, we don’t have to listen any more to our desires, it’s not supposed to be, then we all loose, because we give space to a voice that it has been imposed by society and that it’s not true.
It takes more time to get to climax? You may want to try stimulate your clit with a sex toy that will help you getting there more easily, you can do it alone or with a partner.
The attitude makes the difference. We can and we should keep acting as the sexual being we are even after fifty.